Coo Coo for Co – CoVid

Last night he leaned in for a kiss and I screeched “Social distancing!!” without thinking and then coughed for good measure. He hasn’t tried since and my growing list of things that annoy me pretty much assures I won’t feel his lips on mine again for a decade  (unless of course I am forced to attempt resuscitation

 

I was intending to write about the grief of distancing but I think we have had enough of the sadness that is surrounding these current times.  The grief aspect is something I am well tuned into but that will be for another place in another time.  I believe that laughter is the better option to get us through.  In my connections to the spirit side this past few weeks I have met with great resistance to my questions about how long this may last. I have finally come to the understanding that this is another of the lessons that they can only be witness to yet the experience is ours alone. They are here for us only to bring comfort but beyond this, we are to learn to be better humans.  It’s really just that simple. We come out of this better humans.  We find more consideration for the lives around us, we put more thought into how they may feel and we understand individual fears in a way we couldn’t before.  And we learn to roll with the punches in the very best way we can.  I choose to laugh as I roll. I invite you to do the same.  

Today I spent twenty minutes of my life admonishing my spouse for his incorrect pairing of chips and dips.  I caught him dipping MY Tostitos Scoops into the Helluva Good Dip. He still seems to be struggling with the logic that HIS Ruffles goes with Helluva. And salsa and cheese goes with MY scoops.  He is banned from all pairings from this moment forward.

Last night he leaned in for a kiss and I screeched “Social distancing!!” without thinking and then coughed for good measure. He hasn’t tried since and my growing list of things that annoy me pretty much assures I won’t feel his lips on mine again for a decade  (unless of course I am forced to attempt resuscitation due to unexpected accidents that might include a flying salsa jar.)

I am the very definition of introvert and despite that today I messaged my best pal that I was almost prepared to risk arrest just to run up to people outside and touch them.  Appropriately of course.   But then, I suppose being touched by a complete stranger might be considered inappropriate.  Another month of social isolation and we might just find out for sure…

So how is your social isolation going?  Mine’s going wonderful as you can see.

I’ve eaten about four hundred mini eggs, my bra isn’t fitting properly and my eyelashes have fallen off.  I’ve discovered a taste for wine where a taste for wine never did exist before this and I’ve cooked everything I learned to cook in my first 40 years of life.  The remaining dog in our home is eyeing me suspiciously because I am here ALL of the time now and I swear he is now wondering if my guest status has changed to permanent resident.  He isn’t liking this much because I am the “snack limiter” of the family.  If I am making a sandwich for lunch, the other half always orders two and I immediately go into my rant about the second one is for the dog. My husband argues with me every single time this happens and as I make the second one I mutter about him thinking I must be stupid. So when he does in fact attempt to give the dog the second one, the dog stares at me in anticipation of my certain meltdown.  Our much loved Molly was 45 pounds overweight the week before we lost her.  Hubby says it was all muscle and I am mean.  The dog just looks at me like he can’t wait for me to pack and fly away again.

So in my desire to find some balance….

I’ve made several attempts at solitude and mediation.  I get all comfortable, feet flat to the floor, eyes closed and palms up to receive all that spirit can provide me. I fail the minute I hear a voice in the parking lot outside of my window and jump up to look in my excitement of another human being within twenty feet of me.  The picture I chose for the blog is a fairly true representation of what they see when I pull the curtains back.  Many haven’t been back since. I have no idea why, I am clearly just trying to be friendly.  On this note, grandparents please stop before you lean into the window separating you from your grand babies..because you just can’t be sure that this isn’t what they see.  It’s cute when they do it….us not so much.  Stop and think before you press your wrinkles people. Therapy is going to be hard to find and expensive once this is all said and done.  Plan ahead and stay three inches from the glass please.

I’ve watched every episode of nearly every Netflix series made since 2015.  With the exception of the guy that plays with big cats. His face annoys me and therefore I shall not delve into any episode that features it, so please stop telling me I should. It is not happening. The man has a face that only his mother could love.

This morning I actually woke to fantasies about learning to bake. Things are bad when I start considering this. To save myself from attempting butter tarts  I went for a walk instead in the graveyard, made friends with a squirrel and talked him into posing for me. The photo below. I think he resembles a furry Burt Reynolds.  Let me know what you think.   On my next visit I might take him a sandwich.  😉

 

squirrel
My new friend Burt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author: Tania Thomas

I don't believe in anything less than my truth. Lover of life, believer of possibility.

4 thoughts on “Coo Coo for Co – CoVid”

  1. You are right Tania. Humour is the remedy. Thank you for the laughs & pure honesty. Cheers.

    Life in Medium Security Confinement in Canada 2020:
    Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

    I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom

    Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog …. we laughed a lot.

    THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.

    Oh well – Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your talent to put how feelings in to words! So true! We are all stuck in the Covid way for now but well eventually get through it. If people follow the social distancing. I noticed we all found a way to adapt on Easter! Porch drop off, video messaging my grandbaby, phone! Keep safe my friend 🥰

    Like

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